Poseidon

Rated PG-13

You gotta see this if: You want to see Richard

Dreyfuss reprise his role as “Richard the III.”

final analysis: * Did you ever see a cliché walking? Well, I did. In fact, every character in “Poseidon” in so one-dimensional, I’m surprised they didn’t disintegrate in water. 1972’s “The Poseidon Adventure” was campy, but the characters were well-developed and distinct. It’s been more than 15 years since I last saw the original, but I still remember Shelly Winters’ Mrs. Rosen saving the day. Everyone in this “Poseidon” remake could have been eaten by sharks and I doubt anyone in the audience would have shed a tear. There is no Ernest Borgnine or Shelly Winters here, just puffed-up heros and skinny young things in dripping evening gowns. Worst of all, survival of the whitest seems to be the theme. Sure, the ship’s captain is African-American but he dies early and ineffectually. The film’s other minorities are relegated to steerage and are clearly disposable. There is no one to care about, just big explosions, rushing waters, spectacular CGI, and dialogue brought to you by Velveeta. Don’t buy a ticket onto the “Poseidon” unless you want to be one of its casualties.

The Da Vinci Code

Rated PG-13

You gotta see this if: You refuse to give out your social security number.

final analysis: **½ I am one of the millions who loved Dan Brown’s novel “The Da Vinci Code.” I’m a fan of most things that challenge dogma and tradition. After all, faith is meaningless if never challenged. The movie remains true to the book, is well cast and beautifully filmed. The intricately described locations that made me want to hop a plane to Europe are breathtakingly depicted on the big screen. Unfortunately, the movie suffers from the problem that plagues most bestseller to screen adaptations. A novel is not a screenplay. Stay too faithful to the book and you end up with a wordy, cluttered movie; change it too much and you upset your target audience. As a movie, “The Da Vinci Code” would be better had it been simplified. Though, there is one major element from the book that’s missing from the film: chemistry between its main characters. . . a very unfortunate omission. As it is, fans of the book will probably be pleased, but the uninitiated may lose the dominant themes amidst the clutter.

The Notorious

Bettie Page

Rated PG-13

You gotta see this if: You’ve ever drooled over platform stilletos with six inch heels.

final analysis: *** Bettie Page was once dubbed “pin-up queen of the universe.” Her modeling career spanned seven years and encompassed lingerie, fetish magazines, and the cover of a Playboy still in its infancy. What you might expect from a biopic of Bettie’s life is a vampy exhibitionist, aware of her sexuality and its effects. This movie, however, portrays a woman in a bubble of innocence. Gretchen Mol is stunning as Bettie Page, exuding optimism and naiveté despite or, more likely, because of a youth damaged by molestation, rape, and exploitation. Bettie is shown buffeted between her desire to be loved by the world and her desire to be loved by herself. It is a poignant performance and beautifully illustrated with cinematography that toggles between classic black and white and technicolor. One of the things I liked best about this movie is Bettie’s optimism. The audience gets to see the world through Bettie’s child-like eyes, which always seek out the best in the worst situations. It’s an uplifting place to be.