Summer days seem to stretch long with the extended hours of sunshine. Often, that makes time for summer fun. However, all of that time can translate into long days of “I’m bored” and sibling quarrels that find me tired before the sun even thinks about sinking behind the mountains.
Luckily, between the need for near constant entertainment and fighting, my kids do provide some comic relief. On those worn out days, a good laugh or a smile is just what we need. With all of this time together, I’ve had a lot of opportunities to hear and record the wacky, funny and cute things they say. Here are some of my favorites from the last couple of weeks.
My son Dawson, 9, was trying to make a serious face at me but couldn’t help smiling. “My smile is like a rambunctious dog,” Dawson said. “In my mind, I’m saying, ‘Down boy, down.’ ”
Dawson and I were joking around and saying silly things. “You are weird in a wonderful kind of way,” he said.
My husband, Terry, told Dawson his feet stink. “Sniff ‘em and weep,” Dawson said.
My daughter, Violet, 5, was throwing a fit, screaming and crying because her siblings wouldn’t play exactly what she wanted. I tried to reason with her but wasn’t getting anywhere. It was the end of a long day of this, and I had had enough. I just let her sit in the doorway and throw her fit.
Somehow, Dawson broke through the screaming and crying and asked her if she wanted to lay on the porch with him and watch the water. Since she adores her big brother — most of the time — she was happy with this arrangement. Dawson was proud of his ability to diffuse the situation. He came in and told me, “I took her from pieces to peace.”
One morning I was listing off breakfast options to Violet, and she couldn’t decide what she wanted.
“You should have the bagel,” Dawson said. “Mom makes a mean bagel with peanut butter. Seriously, mine yelled at me.”
“Is that true?” Violet asked with wide eyes.
My youngest, Eleanor, 3, is in a phase where she doesn’t eat much and would prefer to snack all day. So, I was pleased when she at least drank her milk at breakfast that day.
“Good job, you drank all your milk,” I told her.
She laughed and then corrected me. “You mean I drwonk it all,” she said. “Silly mommy.”
Dawson made up this song to the tune of “Rockabye Baby”: “Rockabye spider in the tree top, when you bite a fly he will yell STOP!”
As much as I relish the goofy things my children say, I also appreciate the stories that parents have sent me about their kids. I hope you enjoy them, too.
When her children were young, Sheri Tell of Poulsbo and her family moved into a new neighborhood. Their home was on a cul de sac with only three duplexes. Her youngest daughter, Haley, was 4 years old at the time. Haley spent her time playing with Emily, the only other non-school age girl in the neighborhood.
Emily told Haley that Haley had to do what she wanted or she would go home. Haley told her mom about this problem. Sheri explained that what Emily was doing was called manipulation.
Sheri told Haley not to fear because she was the only girl around for Emily to play with. Emily would be back to play and not to give in to her threats, she said.
The next day the girls were playing together, but then Haley came in the house alone.
“Where’s Emily,” Sheri asked.
“She went home,” Haley said. “She was anipulating me.”
Jill Zacot of Poulsbo is the mother of Owen, 7, and Zoey, 5.
When Owen was 3, he was talking about being dead. Jill asked him if he knew what dead means. “Yeah, no batteries,” he said.
Zoey came downstairs and asked her mother to wash her stuffed-animal elephant. Jill was busy washing dishes so she told Zoey “get all your clothes and your stuffy in the washing machine and I’ll wash them.”
A little while later, Zoey came into the kitchen and told her mom, “I got my clothes and three bathing suits in the washer.”
The bathing suits made Jill wonder what Zoey had loaded in the washing machine, so she went to take a look. Zoey had emptied her entire dresser and put all of her clothes in the wash.
I would love to hear your funny kid stories, so please send them my way. Parents, teachers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and people who love children, send your stories and cute kid photos to firstname.lastname@example.org. I look forward to hearing from you.
— Quinn Ward is a former journalist living in Poulsbo. She has been recording the amazing and outrageous things her kids say since they have been able to talk.