But what’s fun for some is terror for others.

Tucked in amongst the usual assortment of junk mail is a small square envelope with your name and address in elegant script. It’s a party invitation. The sight of it: A. Makes your heart go pitty-pat with excitement, or B. Makes your heart fall to the bottom of your stomach.

If you answered A, congratulations, you are an outgoing, well-centered person with high self-esteem whom any hostess would be glad to have in attendance. If you answered B, this column’s for you. You don’t like parties and will use any excuse to get out of attending. You would avoid your own funeral if you could — in fact you have stipulated such in your will.

Sorry, this isn’t a “1001 excuses to get out of parties” column, it’s about how to buck up and enjoy yourself at social functions. Function, you will notice, begins with “fun,” and parties should, too.

Believe me, I feel your pain. It took me many, many, many years to get over my party-phobia, aka shyness. I finally realized that the majority of the people at any gathering of more than four people felt the same way I did. If humans are social animals, why are we so bad at socializing?

Some people deal with it by quickly downing large amounts of alcohol — they don’t call it a “social lubricant” for nothin’. This strategy can backfire, particularly if the function is the office Christmas party. Do you really want that promotion hinging on your boss seeing you with your inhibitions down?

Others take the aloof approach, slouching in a corner, drink in hand surveying the crowd with an “I’m so much better than all of you” look of scorn. Accent the curled upper lip, preferably with dangling cigarette. If they’re so much better what are they doing there?

But mostly, “sociophobes” become invisible at parties. They try to mingle but don’t know how to break into conversations. Their attempts at small talk are miniscule, their jokes fall flat. They feel like everyone is judging them and ignoring them at the same time. Actually, at any gathering most people are too busy worrying about what others think of them to bother thinking about other people. They’re all in the same boat; might as well go with the flow.

Being a journalist and having to interview people for a living has been good practice for talking to people in general. I approach meeting new people much the same way I do an interview: I want to get to know them. I do more listening than talking; I ask more than I tell. And I’m always thinking, what can this person do for me? Parties are all about networking these days.

Some social experts say to avoid the obvious questions such what do you do and where are you from, but I find these to be good fallback questions. Everyone can answer them successfully. Do avoid asking things like, when’s the baby due? (she could just be fat), is this your wife/husband? (if not, awkward), or, at an office party, are you the new intern? (it could be the new boss).

Remembering people’s names is another fear of sociophobes. I can forget a name in the time it takes someone to say it. I find it helps to act like I didn’t hear it, and ask them to repeat it. That way it looks like I’m really interested in getting to know them, and it usually sticks the second time. The trick of repeating their name back, “Nice to meet you Raoul” doesn’t work if the name didn’t register in the first place. This only gets worse with age, but the hard of hearing trick becomes more believable.

It’s good to have a few current event topics on hand, but stay away from politics, religion and the weather: too hot, too hot, too cold. Instead, do a little Web surfing beforehand to find some quirky news items that you can work into the conversation. How about the story of a camel that literally crashed a party in Ireland, ate 200 mince pies and guzzled several cans of Guinness before he was stopped. That begs the question, how did he open the cans? Also, what was a camel doing in Ireland in the first place?

Or this one: An American Airlines flight had to make an emergency landing after a passenger with severe gas problems struck matches to mask the odor of flatulence. What did they serve on that flight?

The important thing is to just relax. Parties, like root canals, only last a few hours. Then you can go back to hibernating with Netflix.