Mission Impossible: 3

Rated PG-13

You gotta see this if: You can separate Tom Cruise from TomKat.

final analysis: *** I remember watching the first “Mission Impossible” movie 10 years ago with a group of friends. It was a great time. Unfortunately, its sequel was a major disappointment. Add that to Tom Cruise’s current egomaniacal, Scientology evangelizing, couch jumping creepiness, and I wasn’t too keen on seeing this third installment. “M:I3,” however, proved a pleasant surprise. It boasts an excellent supporting cast, particularly Phillip Seymour Hoffman in the bad guy role. I won’t describe the plot, since it doesn’t make much sense and you probably won’t remember it anyway. The reason to see “M:I3” is to experience a suspense-filled thrill ride with more tension packed in than a dentist’s waiting room. The stakes are kept high, the action never slows down, and the movie is tight enough that you won’t notice all the plot holes until the final credits have rolled and your heart stops pounding. This flick might even be better than the first “Mission Impossible” movie. And, no, I don’t remember what that one was about either, but I remember the adrenaline.

An American Haunting

Rated R

You gotta see this if: You giggled all the way through “The Exorcist.”

final analysis: * “An American Haunting” is supposedly based on a true story about a family in 1817 Tennessee tormented by a brutal supernatural entity. Donald Sutherland plays the family patriarch who incurs the wrath of a local witch after extorting money from his church. After the witch curses the family, their teenage daughter becomes the victim of a spirit reminiscent of both “Poltergeist” and “The Exorcist.” As the daughter is repeatedly beaten and sexually assaulted by this unseen entity, you might find yourself tempted, as I was, to flee the theater in search of shock therapy. “An American Haunting” is far more disturbing than it is frightening. It also perpetuates the stereotypes that men are evil, women are victims, and backwoods folk are backwards folk. Sissy Spacek does well enough in a role that asks for nothing more than screaming and walking through dark rooms with a candle, but I’m hoping she’s cast in a comedy next. This movie is indeed haunting, in the way touring Jeffrey Dahmer’s house might be.

Hoot

Rated PG

You gotta see this if: You have a “Save the Whales” bumper sticker on your book bag.

final analysis: ** How could anyone except an evil meanie not love “Hoot?” I mean, it’s got three cute kids rebelling against big business to save some even cuter endangered owls. You see, some bad guys want to bulldoze through the owls’ habitat to build a pancake franchise. Never mind that the owl habitat is out in the boonies where the local wildlife probably doesn’t care about having a carb-laden breakfast. And never mind that the kids use tactics such as vandalism and sabotage with poisonous snakes as the means to their end. These kids are good-as-gold. Their hearts and brains are meant to save the world in sharp contrast to the film’s adults who all seem to be missing hearts and brains; perhaps they should make a trip to see the Wizard? “Hoot” means well. It’s a nice story about middle school kids trying to protect some endangered owls, and the book is an entertaining read. The movie, however, is so dumbed down and patronizing that all but the youngest kids will be rolling their eyes at the screen. At least the mechanical owls appeared realistic, because nothing else did.