School kids get a fun lesson in Kitsap courtroom

Published 12:32 pm Thursday, July 16, 2015

Youngsters from Discovery Montessori confirmed what kids everywhere have suspected over the years: the Big Bad Wolf’s nasty reputation is well-deserved.

The kids heard an earful from testimony given by a county prosecutor and a witness to seal Wolf’s fate. He is, as feared, a pretty bad fellow.

The Big Bad Wolf’s altercation with the Three Little Pigs was the teaching tool Kitsap County District Court Judge Claire Bradley used July 9 to show kids how the judicial court system operates.

The kids from the Port Orchard school got a peek into the court’s workings as Bradley presided over a mock trial, complete with defendant, six youthful jurors, plus prosecution and defense attorneys.

The following is a fair-and-balanced recounting of the courtroom proceedings:

It wasn’t your ordinary trial. The defendant was a steely eyed character with a pointy snout, a set of whiskers and sharp-tooth fangs. Due to adverse publicity and a history of run-ins with the law, the defendant was easily identified as the Big Bad Wolf by a crowded courtroom. The defendant, held without bail in Kitsap County Jail, was escorted by the bailiff into a hushed courtroom, bound in handcuffs.

The charges against Mr. Wolf? Court records show he was brought before Judge Bradley for wanton destruction of two houses in 2010, one constructed of sticks, the other of straw. Even more disturbing, Wolf was accused of devouring the homes’ owners.

County deputy prosecutor Giovanna Franklin told the courtroom that the defendant exploited his skills as a blowhard and carnivore to spread death and destruction.

Franklin called a witness to the stand — a third swine home owner and witness to the crime, Little Pig No. 3. The petite piglet testified that she eluded certain death, thanks to her fortified brick home. A Kitsap County Sheriff’s Office report stated the defendant  destroyed the two homes by exhaling quite heavily and attempted to topple a third.

The witness told the court she was fearful of being carved up for a ham hock appetizer. Wolf apparently damaged his credibility with the jury by munching on bacon strips during the proceedings.

Defense attorney Barb Dennis didn’t dispute Wolf’s role in the carnage, but claimed he was insane when the incident occurred. Dennis also argued that Wolf was the victim of misplaced perceptions.

”He’s just a wolf. I know his name is Big Bad Wolf, but he’s not bad,” Dennis said, somewhat unconvincingly. ”He’s soft and kind. And he doesn’t have a bad bone in his body.”

At the conclusion of the court arguments, Judge Bradley asked the six-kid jury to render a decision — in about two minutes.

And the verdict?

Wolf was guilty as sin.

The sentence?

Seven years of jail time with diversion treatment every two weeks aimed at curbing his carnivorous tendencies.

Bradley commended the sentence. ”We focus on treatment instead of jail in District Court for those who need help and don’t have an extensive criminal record,” she told the courtroom.

Even so, an undercurrent of dissatisfaction with the sentence rippled through the courtroom. One young observer told the judge she felt Wolf was deserving of a date with the executioner. Others felt the sentence might be a bit too harsh, even for a sneaky wolf: ”I think he needs to be fed more plants than meat.”

Another called for the four-legged felon to pay restitution, or at least enough to rebuild two sticks-and-straw homes.

Reagan Meader, 11, called for a more enlightened sentence. The Montessori jury member said he believed community service would help Wolf learn to live a clean, less violent life.

After the case concluded, Judge Bradley congratulated the junior jurors and their fellow courtroom observers. ”The kids identified pretty much all of the sentencing alternatives — except for the death penalty,” she laughed.

Note: There’s no word yet if Tony awards are in the offing for the courtroom thespians.