It’s time we stop wasting our time on things that don’t matter and recognize the important things in life, the things that make a difference, that give life meaning.

Football, namely.

Yes, the long, bleak slog through spring and summer is over, when nothing worth mentioning happens and life shrivels into itself. Now that the days are beginning to grow shorter and darker there is no excuse for being grouchy or morose. Now is the rare moment when everyone has a perfect record.

Our minds are straying from fights over politics and the economy. It’s time to pick fights of substance, like how many games Matt Hasselbeck will last before an injury ends his season.

Instead of Obama and Tea Parties, we will discuss how lame the Oregon Ducks’ uniforms are and whether we hate Texas or Florida teams more.

We will reach conclusions, we will challenge assumptions, we will drink beer, we will shout obscenities at television screens, we will dream up lame excuses to skip work on Monday.

It’s time to worship overgrown children who play a game for breathtaking piles of money. It’s time to foster a love of ultraviolence in our own children. It is time to repeat the story about that time in Pop Warner when we took out a fifth grade quarterback with a blindside sack.

Yes, fall in America approaches. Football season is upon us, life has meaning again.