“If I ever get married I will have a small wedding,” I said, driving north on I-5 with the man that I was certain I would marry. “I want a tiny ceremony and a huge reception. To me, the vows are personal and should only be shared with a few people.”

I looked over at Ty. He smiled back at me and said, “I completely agree.”

We went on for another ten minutes or so discussing the merits of small weddings and the wastefulness of large, seemingly impersonal events.

We had only been dating three weeks or so at this point and though we had not paid it lip service it was clear we would marry each other. Marry each other that is, in a small private ceremony with only our close family members and our pastor. We would then have an insanely awesome honeymoon and throw a huge party. That is … so we thought.

Here we are, less than four weeks to wedding time. The RSVPs are pouring in. We are doing our daily budget tallies and registering for gifts. We expect somewhere around 250 people to celebrate our wedding with us. We have reserved a beautiful church and an incredible reception facility.

How did this happen?

To be honest, I am not really sure. Somewhere between gushing to everyone that we are in love and realizing that you only get one chance to have a celebration in honor of that love, we changed.

I may be able to blame it on the ceremony location that my heart was set on. It is this beautiful, old, quaint church … that can accommodate 150 people. We booked it. Suddenly, the social butterfly in each of us started wondering why we would only fill the church with 20 people when it could fit so many more.

Of course, soon after you start listing the people you each want in attendance it is a packed house. Before we knew it we had a “ceremony invite list” and a “reception invite list.”

I began to feel sick, not about the wedding itself but about the guest list. Then I thought of that old adage “It takes a village to raise a child.” Ty and I, though adults today, were once children. Children that were shaped, encouraged and educated by our “village.” How could we not throw a party for them?

I was never a girl who had envisioned her wedding day. I was sure though, that if I ever did get married, the ceremony would be intimate and the reception would be a blast. And fate willing, that is exactly what it will be … only with a village of onlookers.

And I couldn’t be happier.

Christina Bonney lives in Bremerton