The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimated that at least 1.7 million Americans age 65 and older would die in 2008, and an equal or larger number in 2009. Of those, many will be the last surviving parent, and sadly, a large percentage will depart without a plan or even a simple will. No family meetings. No wishes expressed. No final loving words to share.

If only half of these older Americans leave behind three children (many will leave more), almost three million adults will be without parents in the United States this coming year. As Jo Myers, author of “Good to Go: The ABC’s of Death and Dying” observes: “Some of these aging offspring already suffer strained sibling relationships left over from childhood. So, potentially, a large number of grown-up baby boomers will act like children when their parents are not around to provide supervision.”

How sad! And yet … how avoidable.

So the question is … what are some practical actions and preparations a senior and their family can take to lessen the impact when death occurs? How can we more adequately prepare for the inevitable challenges a family will face … before … during … and after … the death of a parent?

The reality today is that many seniors display avoidance behavior rather than pre-plan for their death. They often make statements like, “My kids can take care of things after I’m gone.”

Unfortunately, they don’t realize their lack of planning is often a recipe for the breakup of their survivors. And it’s not just the financial and physical aspects of their absence, but the emotional and relational aspects as well.

Beginning with today’s opinion column, I would like to address some of the issues facing seniors and their families and how to best meet these challenges. In this segment, I want to focus on what a senior and their family can do “before” they face the reality of death and to identify the most basic elements in that process.

First, as seniors age, they increasingly experience diminished capacity to function in their daily activities of life. This may be due to illness, accidents, surgery or just the effects of a body that is growing older. In such cases, the senior needs to face the truth of their condition and be willing to accept support from family and friends. Unfortunately, many seniors cling so tightly to their independence that they are unwilling to seek or accept such support. The result often leads to “assisted” living (or even skilled nursing) care long before such care should have been necessary. Granted, sometimes family members just aren’t available to provide assistance, but there are outstanding home care agencies that do provide services to seniors at very affordable rates. Whatever the case, this is an important issue to discuss now before the senior’s health requires extensive care.

Another important consideration that seniors and their families need to address is the preparation of a will. Even if there are few assets, at least a simple last will and testament will provide a suitable “closure” and spare the family unnecessary challenges. Today, with the availability of very affordable forms of will preparation, there really is no excuse for not having one. But don’t procrastinate! Even if the senior is reluctant, someone in the family needs to take the lead and insist that a meeting with the parent(s) to discuss this issue take place ASAP.

Let me add one final consideration that a senior and their family needs to address “before” they face the reality of death … the completion of an “advance directive” document that names a substitute decision maker, and identifies desired medical treatments. Although end-of-life planning includes a number of considerations (i.e., a will or trust, a durable power of attorney, funeral and burial plans), an advance directive is a key element in being well prepared.

Seniors and their families might want to seriously consider the Five Wishes form. With this document, several of the previously mentioned actions can be rolled into one format … a living will, advanced directives and specific words and sentiments that the senior wants their loved ones to know. For more information regarding the Five Wishes document, contact Aging with Dignity at (888) 594-7437 or visit http://www.agingwithdignity.org. It’s a great resource.

As you can imagine, all of these considerations I’ve mentioned in this column are issues that require the senior and their family to confront a subject that most people want to avoid … death. And that’s not easy. In fact, it’s quite uncomfortable for most people to address. But address it we must if we’re going to be prudent and responsible adults.

Next time, I want to focus on an even weightier issue of what to do when mom or dad are in the midst of dying.

Carl R. Johnson is the community relations director at Abiding HomeCare in Silverdale.