Just because you have the “right” to act a certain way does not make it the “right” thing to do. Especially when it comes to kids and youth sports. The majority of adult participants, who operate in the world of sport for kids, are well-meaning, polite, supportive individuals. Unfortunately there are always going to be the handful of individuals who put their selfish outrage above what is best for the players and for the organization as a whole.
This current season of Pee Wee Football has run the spectrum from unfortunate adult confrontations to uplifting leadership moments. I am going to share a few of these with you.
The pushy parents — If your kid does not want to play a certain sport, does not want to go to practice anymore or starts taking out their unhappiness on their teammates, stop forcing it. Just stop. You are not losing face. As a fellow parent I do not respect you any less for pulling your kid from a situation that is just frustrating and painful for everyone. Swallow your pride, listen to your kid and find an activity or sport that is a better fit.
The complainers — Parents or adults that constantly complain about the amount of play time their kid does or does not receive but never stick around themselves to watch a full practice and observe why some play time may vary from player to player or game to game. They themselves show a complete lack of personal leadership by not doing much in the way of anything to help out with the team or the organization. Following this example their own child feels that they should not have to work hard to earn any of the benefits either.
The bad decision makers — Parents or adults who choose to confront a member of the coaching staff in a manner that is really inappropriate in content or tone or that occurs during a practice or game in front of the entire team. It is explained at the beginning of every season that if you have a problem you take it to a member of the coaching staff on the side. If you are still not satisfied, every sports organization has an open door chain of command to follow when it comes to conflict resolution.
In any situation involving kids, parents and adults are there to lead by example. That means everyone. The goal is to show that you can play very hard and still be fair and respectful to your opponents and your fellow community members.
There was a particular moment that stood out for me at my son’s game on Saturday. Most Pee Wee football games are straightforward and low key, not a whole lot of ceremony or fanfare, no mandatory timeouts for advertiser breaks or network disclaimers. Rarely is there ever any sort of pregame or halftime show.
This weekend my son’s team played at a guest field where they had installed a nice sound system. Both teams lined up facing the flag and the national anthem was played. In a show of ingrained respect and good manners, the coaching staff for my son’s team had our players remove their helmets and stand very quietly at attention during the playing of the anthem. That is how you lead and that is how you show kids that respect matters.
It should always be the small, quiet moments of real leadership by example that stick with our kids.
