Happy, Grumpy or just plain Dopey?

Published 3:00 pm Tuesday, May 30, 2006

One entertaining aspect of parenthood, I find, is discovering situations that will delight the eight-year-old while simultaneously mortifying the 15-year-old. It isn’t hard to do: a parent dancing in public, for instance. However, my husband and I recently found that nothing produces the effect quite as dramatically as the spectacle of spending several days in the company of your parents at Disneyland.

What a great idea we had: a surprise visit to Disneyland to see our ninth-grade son, Alex, perform with the Kingston Junior High band in the Parade of Dreams! The surprise was that neither Alex nor our youngest son, Will, would know anything about our plans until the last possible minute.

Thus began weeks of quiet preparation. For me the hardest part was watching what I said; no more stream-of-consciousness ramblings. When I complained to Alex that we would have to miss a favorite annual event on that first Saturday of May, he replied that I could still go. Thinking quickly I sighed, “But it just won’t be the same without you.” Whew. Close one.

By the morning of our departure everything was ready and our bulging carry-on bags were hidden in the closet. As the sun rose I kissed Alex good-bye and Ted drove him to the junior high to catch a school bus to the airport. An hour later when Will, our second-grader, tottered out of bed, we told him that lucky, lucky Alex was on his way to Disneyland. Right on cue, Will expressed his wistful longing to go there again one day. “OK,” said the best parents in the whole entire world. “Let’s go.”

I don’t think Will believed it until we actually arrived at the airport. At that point he began to loudly share with everyone who ventured too close that he was going to Disneyland.

The rest of the day was a blur of long lines, wildly careening cars, crazy-looking characters and expensive food – and that was just the Los Angeles airport and freeways. Finally we arrived at our hotel; the same hotel in which the band was staying. No sooner had we checked in and exited the lobby than there he was – Alex at twelve o’clock! Still dripping from the pool, he and his friends were standing in the middle of our path.

Now, while Ted and I had no actual plans for springing the surprise on our middle son, we hadn’t expected this. I quickly ducked behind a vending machine, peeking around the corner from time to time while considering our options. At last we decided that this was as good a time as any and simply strolled past, giving nonchalant little finger waves.

Until that moment I had never seen a jaw literally drop open. A confused “What?” was all he could muster.

I know what he was thinking. At that moment the whole trip flashed before his eyes. The hours he’d planned to spend with his friends, unfettered teenagers in the happiest place on Earth, were disappearing faster than his three relatives now wheeling their luggage around the corner of the building.

He needn’t have worried. We saw him only once more – not including the parade, and then only sporadically as Ted and I executed a mad dash from one end of the route to the other, shooting random pictures by pointing our cameras in the general direction of the marchers and hoping for the best. At one point Ted made a desperate bid for the far side of the street. As he broke from the crowd, a bystander shouted the alarm “Parent!”

Meanwhile, Will was having the time of his life being spun, dropped, splashed and scared silly. One of the most pleasant aspects of Disney is the permission it bestows on young and old alike to act like kids. Where else can an adult spend the day in a rhinestone tiara or pointy princess hat and no one even notices? (Not that I haven’t been tempted to try it when buying groceries at Thriftway).

Ted and I were responsible adults when we arrived; by day four we sat down with Will to a lunch composed entirely of candy. Our Disneyland vacation progressed in the usual manner: happy for the most part, a little grumpy as the early mornings and late nights took their toll, and just plain dopey by the time we boarded our return flight.

Our last day in the park happened to be our oldest son’s 19th birthday. Since he couldn’t be with us, we asked Snow White to leave a birthday message for Spencer on his cell phone, which she very kindly did in her little-girl Snow White voice. Snow White on a cell phone; now there’s something you don’t see every day.

Looking back on it all, we realized that our next trek to Disneyland should probably be made sooner rather than later. After all, it won’t be so many more years before Will’s jaw drops in horror at the prospect of visiting the park with his parents. When that day comes, eating candy for lunch will never be as sweet.