Kissing has been around since some guy decided he could get what he wanted with a little pursing of the lips. When I was a teenager, the movies were our guide and taught us how to kiss and fall in love. Cary Grant would lean in and the lucky female would stand on tiptoe and receive the gentle lip pressing. Or sometimes that wild boy from the other side of the tracks would steal a kiss from Miss Goody Two-Shoes and it would be not as gentle, but it would still not be with open lips. We learned that a proper kiss between a woman and a man was not with puckered up lips nor open mouth, but it was done with smooth, soft landings.
So … when did kissing get so messy?
On television and in the movies, the kissing is loud. Smacking or slurping sounds weren’t allowed before, and certainly there was no glimpse of a tongue licking the partner’s teeth. Now you know about the love scenes by sound alone (and all that moaning). Makes me wonder, have I been doing it wrong all these years?
What brought this subject up? It was when I overheard three girls talking on the ferry. They were about 10 or 11 years old. “I know where the noses go,” said one girl and the others nodded, but the speaker felt the need to explain. “Both people watch for when it’s going to happen, and put their noses to the side”. “But,” asked the girl next to her, “when do you put out your tongue?”
That made me wonder too.
Since my generation learned about kissing and being in love from the movies, then probably this generation is learning from TV and movies too, but, my or my … such lessons. Just how much do we want our kids to know?
As I listened to the girls I realized they also were discussing where the hands were supposed to go. “If he starts the kiss, then you keep your hands in your lap.” They all agreed with this plan. “But what if he puts his hands on you, like on your shoulders?”
Yes, what about that? I thought. Again, if you’re learning from TV and the movies you just know the next step is the tearing off of clothes and a lot of urgent moaning and grunting.
One girl had the answer. “You have to know where his hands are. If they are on your shoulders, that’s okay. If they start to move down you have to move. I think you lean back away so his hands can’t reach your….” But their voices lowered and I couldn’t hear what his hands couldn’t reach. Then the girls were giggling.
This pretty much ended the conversation, at least this one on the ferry. but weren’t they knowledgeable? At their age I don’t think I was worried about noses during a kiss or hands either. I think I was still hoping for an ice cream cone or worried because some girl on the playground didn’t pick me for her team. I think it took me until I was at least thirteen to realize boys could be fun in other ways than hitting baseballs.
Well, good or bad, I know that kids know more grown-up stuff earlier and it’s more than I ever did at their age. First, I think it’s good since they’re bombarded with the unreality of TV and movies and they need to know what is supposed to be real and what is pretend; second, I think it’s bad because they learn about adult things before they have the emotional maturity to handle it; however, what fun it was to hear the matter-of-fact way these girls discussed kissing.
And here’s my conclusion. I think we should all put some fireworks in our life and kiss that someone special today. What do you think?