Although we are not being shoved into garbage cans or lockers as the bullies of our school days would guarantee, bullies in the adult world appear in a variety of places: At work, in neighborhoods, highways, the internet and many unexpected places.

Bullies tend to intimidate and threaten others so they will feel important. It is an enormous ego boost that fuels their wrath at the expense of others. They poke, prod and threaten their victims to hide personality shortcomings or insecurities which give the bully a false sense of courage.

Oftentimes, bullies hold positions of power over their victims: Bosses, managers, even presidents of the U.S. Bullies bully those whom they feel are powerless against them — the easy targets, the vulnerable.

But how does one deal with an adult bully? Avoidance is high on the list, but if that is not possible, do not keep silent out of fear, embarrassment, or a sense of helplessness. Share your experience with others that you trust. Chances are, there are others who share your experience and there is strength in numbers.

Put things in writing; keep a paper trail to show consistent trends in the threats and intimidations. Have a third party with you anytime you need to deal with the bully one-on-one. When possible, go over her/his head and report this to someone who holds a leadership position. If that doesn’t work because there is a possibility that the bully’s boss is also a bully and hence, encourages the behavior, then take it to the authorities — police, Adult Protection Services. Someone out there will hear you.

We are only victims of bullying if we allow it to happen. Do not stand down. Do not remain silent. There is help to be found. Fact: Bullies should not be tolerated in any walk of life.

Christina Lacie

Silverdale