The most wonderful drive of the year

Published 7:00 pm Wednesday, November 29, 2006

For whatever reason, most Western Washington residents turn into failing drivers ed students whenever the white stuff starts falling. True, it’s trickier out there on the roads. Slicker. Slushier. And much more difficult to get around.

But not impossible. If it was most Canadians would never leave their homes from November to March, eh?

Yet drivers around here seem to either a) freak out completely and not leave their homes b) drive as they normally do or c) drive so slowly and so cautiously that springtime has arrived before they reach their destination five miles down the road.

Common sense, much like a tepid triple grand latte, goes out the window as motorists attempt to cope with the Winter Blast, the Winter Chill, or the Season Hell Will Freeze Over, depending on which TV newscast one watches.

The Old Man is definitely in town. Winter that is, your father-in-law doesn’t get here for his weeklong stay until Dec. 22. (Didn’t your wife tell you? You’re picking him up at the airport, 2 a.m. flight.) Anyway, no doubt he’ll blow in and out a few times before the spring thaw sets in and stores start reminding us that we only have 275 days of shopping left until Christmas 2007.

Which brings us full circle, actually three or four times — in the car no less — back to winter driving. Hopefully, this riveting editorial isn’t so riveting that it has commanded your complete attention when you should have been watching the road. If this is the case, don’t sue. The editor’s broke as it is.

Winter driving in Kitsap County is often akin to watching Todd Bridges (better know as the Willis in the “Whatchoo talkin’ ‘bout Willis?”) on Skating with Celebrities — minus the disco attire and gigantic ‘70s afro wig, of course.

It doesn’t need to be this way.

Motorists just need to keep their wits about them. If they’ve never driven in the snow, don’t have insurance, studded tires or snow chains, or don’t know of a good auto body shop and chiropractor, maybe taking the ol’ Yugo for a spin — literally — in eight inches of accumulation isn’t the best idea.

If the roads are slicker than a D.C. politician at election time, and said Yugo’s four bare tires are about as useful as a pair of open-toe high heels in a soccer game, maybe calling your friend who grew up in Wenatchee and just bought a garish yellow Hummer is in order. Once again, common sense should prevail.

If you’re on the road, use your head.

Drive at a reasonable speed for the conditions and for crying out loud don’t tailgate. If the truck in front of you fishtails, chances are, you’ll follow suit. If you’re in the thick of things, give yourself plenty of driving room and don’t slam on brakes — that’s a one way ticket to ditchville (Not to be confused with Ritzville, which, although it has about as much to offer as ditchville, is oddly enough a place where folks can drive in the snow).

If you slide, turn your vehicle into the slide and try to straighten it out. It sounds easier than it is but so does driving stick, or getting married. In any case, pay attention while doing any and all.

There’s no excellent advice out there for black ice other than to watch your speed if it was snowing all day and the roads have taken on a similar sheen to Valdez, Alaska a few years back.

Know your abilities. Know your vehicles and use your noggin this winter when you hit the roads of North Kitsap.